Sunday Email: SuperCommunicators / Present

Read time: ~3.00 minutes

Happy Sunday!

Every Sunday I offer strategies for the week ahead and a thought to fuel your action.

What if one book could solve decades' worth of deterioration?

Books aren't just stories—they're conversations that bridge generations. They preserve the context of times we'd otherwise never understand. They quench our infinite curiosity.

As a child, I loved reading. I devoured choose-your-own-adventure books, relishing the feeling of control over the narrative. Looking back, I realize that's where my thirst for control began—only to learn later in life that reality rarely offers such control.

I read voraciously but was limited by how many books I could borrow from the school or local library. Desperate to read more, I convinced my parents to let me take a speed-reading class. I thought it would be my silver bullet. Eight hours and one 200-page book later, I realized I'd finished the book but remembered almost nothing.

It was a humbling lesson: speed and understanding don't go hand in hand.

As I got older, life got busier, and I drifted away from reading. It wasn't until about six years ago, while studying Stoicism that I rediscovered my love for books. Learning about great Roman emperors and their devotion to reading inspired me. One piece of wisdom stuck: "Spending money on books is never wasteful—it's an investment."

That insight changed everything. I began buying books without hesitation and creating a personal library. Today, I believe books are the greatest gift we can give others. And reading is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

This year, one book changed how I approach connection and communication: Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg.

Here are the four most powerful lessons I learned:

We fear difficult conversations because we want simple acceptance.

Thousands of years ago, survival depended on being part of a group. That instinct remains. A difficult conversation feels like risking rejection, so we avoid it.

Facts are dead ends, but feelings open doors.

Asking someone "Where are you from?" leads to a factual response. Asking, "What did you love about growing up there?" invites a story, an insight, and a connection.

Conversation isn't the same as connection.

Most conversations are surface-level, like going through the motions. Connection happens when both people share vulnerability and feelings.

Every conversation should start with curiosity.

To nurture a relationship, curiosity is essential. A good question is like water, and authentic interest is like sunshine—both are needed for the relationship to grow.

Supercommunicators gave me hope. It showed me that we can have respectful, connected conversations even in a polarized world. We can disagree without disconnecting. We can explore rather than argue.

That's the lesson of this book: slow down. Be curious. Treat conversations as opportunities to learn, not just exchanges of words.

It's a lesson I'll carry into 2025—and one I hope you'll carry with you, too.

As a gift this holiday season, I'm giving away 5 copies of the book Supercommunicators. To enter for a chance to win, please respond to this email with the book that had the most significant impact on you in 2024 and two sentences about why it had such an impact.

A Thought To Ponder This Week

To be present means to give all you have to those you are with in the moment.

In this season of giving, we hold the keys to the most treasured and least expensive present.

Our presence with those we love and who love us.

Give the present of being “with” those you love this holiday season.

Put the phone away, turn the tv off and store the iPad.

This connection will be the fuel that energizes us into 2025 to accomplish the greatest feats yet.

While being the most memorable gift your loved ones will get all holiday season.

Grab the reigns this holiday season and lean in.

The best is ahead!

-Matt