Tuesday Email: Self Aware

Read time: ~3.30 minutes

Happy Tuesday!

Every Tuesday I'd like to offer strategies for the week ahead and a thought to fuel your action.

Knowledge is powerful. Wisdom is better. Self-awareness, though, rules all.

Too often, we look outward to determine how to improve—new books, strategies, and tools. But the most impactful work happens when we look inward. Self-awareness is the foundation for everything. It unshackles our ability to learn, grow, and adapt in an ever-changing world.

The day was cold, but luckily, I was inside. I sat on the couch, staring at the therapist across from me, and wondered, “Why am I here?”

It wasn’t my first attempt at a relationship, but this time felt different. I didn’t want to mess it up—not again. But deep down, I knew something was holding me back. Commitment scared me. The idea of making one decision that could last forever felt suffocating, so I’d avoided it. I’d avoided it for years.

But this time, I couldn’t avoid it anymore.

That’s why I was sitting on that couch, trying to figure out how to express feelings I didn’t understand. I grew up lucky—loved and with every opportunity in front of me. So why was I here, afraid of the very thing I wanted most? That day, I thought I was fixing one thing. What I didn’t realize was that I was starting something much bigger—the journey of becoming someone I actually liked.

Twelve years later, I still sit on that couch—the same spot, the same therapist. But now I’m married, with two kids, running a business, and learning to say no to the relationships that drain me.

Through these conversations, I’ve walked into the fire, stumbled out bruised, and somehow found strength. I’ve learned what drives me to be the person I want to be—and what pulls me away.

That cold day 12 years ago, I made a decision. A small, scared, uncertain decision. But it wasn’t just the start of therapy—it was the start of everything.

I’ve learned and continue to learn the greatest skill of all: self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the elixir of personal growth. It allows us to understand our emotions, the drivers behind our actions, and the patterns that hold us back. Without it, we’re like a driver navigating without knowing the rules of the road—bound for chaos.

Early in one of my entrepreneurial ventures, I felt I was “supposed” to be the CEO. But as a people-pleaser, I avoided hard decisions. The result? People liked me, but progress stalled. I wasn’t leading; I was drifting. It wasn’t until I started to gain deep self-awareness that allowed me to confront my tendencies that I realized leadership isn’t about being liked—it’s about being effective. I needed to step out of the role of managing people and bring someone in to help. That changed everything.

We all have two voices in our heads. One is the internal critic, Self 1, full of self-doubt and limiting beliefs. The other is our natural, confident self, Self 2, capable of executing with focus and clarity.

Self-awareness is the key to quieting Self 1 and empowering Self 2. It transforms us from hesitant to decisive, from reactive to intentional. Without it, we’re stuck listening to the critic, spinning our wheels while going nowhere.

Here’s the thing about self-awareness: it doesn’t require anyone else. No team, no external resources—just us. Yet we avoid it, either because we think we have it under control or because we fear what we’ll uncover.

But avoiding self-awareness is like a hamster running on a wheel. It feels productive, but it’s just movement without progress. Those who embrace self-awareness, however, step off the wheel and start moving forward.

Self-awareness isn’t the finish line. It’s a race with no end, one we must start and commit to every day. It’s not easy. But it’s the most powerful investment we can make in ourselves—an exponential force multiplier for everything we know, learn, and become.

The best is ahead!

-Matt