Tuesday Email: The Power of Laughter

Happy Tuesday!

Every Tuesday I'd like to offer strategies for the week ahead and a thought to fuel your action.

Have you ever noticed how the most successful professionals seem to effortlessly build trust, while others—equally competent—struggle to connect? The difference isn't technical expertise or market knowledge. It's something far simpler, and far more overlooked.

The secret weapon hiding in plain sight is laughter—but not in the way you think.

Most advice about humor in business focuses on "lightening the mood" or "breaking the tension." However, that overlooks a deeper truth: laughter isn't just a social lubricant; it's a neurological bridge that literally rewires how people perceive risk, trust, and safety. When we laugh together, we don't just feel better—we think differently about each other.

Consider this: the ancient Greeks understood something we often forget. Aristotle examined the role of humor in human interaction, while the Stoics spoke of sympatheia—the invisible threads that bind us together. Modern neuroscience confirms what they intuited: when we laugh with others, our brains synchronize, forging trust at a speed ordinary conversation rarely achieves.

I learned this lesson at fourteen, though it would take years to understand its professional significance.

I was at a restaurant with my friend and his parents, trying to impress the adults by being the fun, clever teenager. When my buddy excused himself to use the restroom, I hatched what seemed like a brilliant plan: I'd wait around the corner and give him a playful scare when he returned.

Positioning myself in the hallway, I could barely contain my anticipation. This was going to be hilarious. I heard footsteps approaching, took a breath, and jumped out, shouting "BOO!"—only to find myself face-to-face with a complete stranger heading to his table.

The man's shocked expression perfectly mirrored my horror. I mumbled apologies, my teenage face burning with embarrassment, and retreated as quickly as possible. But as I walked back to our table, something unexpected happened: I couldn't stop laughing. Not nervous giggling—full-body, uncontrollable laughter at my own ridiculous mistake.

When I finally composed myself enough to share what had happened, the entire table erupted. My friend's parents—these sophisticated adults I'd been trying to impress—were suddenly crying with laughter, completely losing their composure. In that moment, the invisible hierarchy between "responsible adult" and "silly teenager" dissolved. We weren't just sharing a meal anymore—we were human beings who had experienced something genuinely funny together.

Twenty-five years later, I still remember every detail of that moment. More importantly, I carry its lesson into every professional relationship: our connections suffer not because we take our work too seriously, but because we take ourselves too seriously.

Here's what neuroscience reveals happens when we laugh together: stress hormones like cortisol plummet, while oxytocin—the same chemical released during physical bonding— floods our systems. Our breathing synchronizes, our heart rates align, and our brains literally begin processing information more openly. We stop viewing each other as potential threats and start seeing partners.

The shared vulnerability principle explains why this works so powerfully. When we laugh—really laugh—we become temporarily defenseless. Our faces contort, our bodies shake, we make strange sounds. In that moment of shared ridiculousness, we're essentially saying, "I'm human, I'm imperfect, and I trust you enough to show you that." This creates what psychologists call "shared vulnerability"—the foundation of all meaningful relationships.

Yet in financial services, we treat laughter like a loaded weapon, afraid it might accidentally discharge and damage our credibility. We've convinced ourselves that managing someone's life savings requires constant gravity, as if a smile somehow diminishes our competence. But what if the opposite were true? What if our reluctance to be human is actually the barrier preventing deeper client relationships?

The "comic triple" technique offers a practical way forward. In comedy, you build tension with two serious elements, then release it with a third that's unexpectedly light. Try it during account transfers: "You'll receive the DocuSign from us, then get confirmation that your new account is open, followed by three days of wondering if your money disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle—which is completely normal and exactly what we expect."

This isn't about becoming a comedian; it's about becoming more human.

When you think about your most treasured relationships—personal or professional—how many of those pivotal moments involved shared laughter? The client who became a friend after you both laughed at your coffee spill during their first meeting. The colleague who became a trusted partner after you shared a ridiculous story during a stressful project.

Laughter doesn't diminish our professionalism—it reveals our humanity. And in a world where algorithms threaten to automate everything we do, our humanity might be the only competitive advantage that truly matters.

The next time you're tempted to maintain that invisible barrier of perfect professionalism, remember: the tool that could transform your relationships has been in your toolkit all along. You just need the courage to use it.

The best is ahead!

-Matt